The reason that I have decided to pack my bags and be obedient is love. If we love God and claim to be a Christian, than we need to be ready to obey what he says. Somewhere around last year, I felt the country of Africa being laid on my heart. I had no idea why and so partly ignored it. But every time that I pushed it away, it came back stronger. There was a love growing in my heart for a country that I have never visited and for people that I have never met.

I still had no idea what to do with this longing, but was hoping that I wasn’t being asked to spend an extended amount of time there. The thought of leaving the comforts of America wasn’t something that I wanted to think about. Since a young age I knew I wanted to be a teacher, have a nice little normal family, and live in a nice house. But God started taking these dreams away from me.

Mysteriously, I started feeling uncomfortable by my life. I knew God was breaking me of the desire for a comfortable “me” centered life. I felt him gently asking me to give up the thoughts and dreams that I had created and to let him take over. When the pen of our lives is in our hands, our life no longer is a beautiful offering to God. And as I handed over to him my life, I changed. I was broken of the need for comfort. Often times, because we become so comfortable in our lives, we lose the need to trust God. For many Americans everything that we need and want is at our finger tips.

At some point, I knew that this was no short term trip God was asking me to do. It wasn’t going to be a quick little drop in and visit. It was long term. I was being asked to go and live in the need. To transform wherever I was told to go with his love. To show love, where love is uncommon. I was being asked to trust. With blind faith, trust that God would take care of me. That all of this was for my good. I responded with blind faith’s answer, “Yes.”

I do worry, though. What if some days I have to go hungry? What if I never meet a man to marry? What if someone tries to kill me? Or what if someone tried to kill my children? What if a man tries to take advantage of me? What if no one takes me seriously because I am white? And though these are all realities that could happen, God gives me peace, once I decide to give him my worries. Peace that makes me remember that everything is for my good, that he will never leave me or forget about me.

Today I long for Africa, for the people, and the country. I long to grow spiritually every single day. I long to be stretched and emotionally exhausted every day. To love the people who have never experienced real love before. I know that God is not asking me to leave for good yet, but I felt him telling me to go and travel there. Experience it, touch it, talk to the people, and hold the children.

I began looking for trips, but wasn’t finding anything that wasn’t extremely structured. Then, an opportunity showed up to take a 3 week trip to Swaziland, Africa. Nine days would be spent with a team, and then we would spend an additional twelve days as a family with a missionary. We decided this was perfect for us, and decided to sign up. I was/am beyond excited. We will be leaving on June 12th and returning July 6th. Just thinking about stepping off the plane in this country makes my heart beat faster.

Taylor discovered his love of photography last December when the sun shone through the leaves of the sycamore trees and the air was filled with the sound of Monarch butterfly wings getting ready to fly. Putting the camera to his eye, he discovered a new world and he hasn’t looked back. Taylor loves taking pictures. Here are some pictures from a recent session.

These are some of his favorite subjects. Not only are these kids photogenic, they are really fun to be around!

I met Kenon at Westmont when I was a resident assistant, and her husband, Matt, was the resident director. I loved Kenon the moment I met her. I’m not sure if it was her smile, or hug, or the way she included me in her life. She listened to me, she sat with me when I cried, and one night when I had a lot of studying to do but couldn’t get anything accomplished in my room, we ate espresso beans and couldn’t figure out why we were still wide awake at midnight! Kenon was like a big sister to me.

When Kenon emailed recently to say that she was battling cancer for the fifth time I was so sad. While praying for Kenon and her family I have asked God what I could do that would be an encouragement to her.

I love making banners and had the privilege of creating one for Kenon a year ago. It said “miracle,” because Kenon’s life truly was and is a miracle. She has survived four cancer battles. When I asked her if she had a new “word” for this battle she wrote back immediately saying, “Yes, it’s Eternal Hope, is that too long?” She went on to say that this banner would be an encouragement to her now and would be a reminder for her family later. In the midst of our discussion of fabrics and colors Kenon said, “Thank you for being the hands of Christ in this work! Have you ever felt like Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web? You are sewing visions and dreams and hope… And changing lives as others gaze on these phrases of truth!!

Oh Kenon, if you only knew. I SO wanted this banner to be “right,” to be an encouragment, but none of the fabric in my sewing room was right. I decided to visit the Remnant Store this morning. As I touched every fabric, I prayed, “God, I am getting worried. I’m half way through this store and nothing is right. Please show me what you want me to use.” I turned the corner and there it was.

Knowing I would have a little time before the kids got home from school, I got right to work. I was hoping to at least get the letters cut out and the sewing started. I prayed as I worked, thanking God for helping me find this fabric and praying for Kenon and her family. An hour later the banner was completely put together and after ironing it, I realized it would be ready to be delivered tonight!

After leaving the banner on Kenon’s porch, I walked in the door and received this email. “IT IS BEYOND PERFECT – I could not have described it – yet there it was –exactly what I hoped for.”

I asked Kenon if I could post the picture she sent and possibly write about the experience. Her response, “Absolutely… You can talk all about how I think you are Charlotte and how you prayed over the fabrics and how God gives us eternal hope- irregardless of the length of our days on earth.”

Tonight as I pray for Kenon I am thankful, that in this small way, I could tangibly remind her of this truth.

Bonnie’s text read “Can you bring Alyssa over to go through the orchard and garden? Most afternoons next week will work after 4.”

Bonnie and Alyssa share a love of cooking so when I ran the idea by Alyssa she was thrilled. I know my way around our garden but it became clear that sunny summer afternoon that Alyssa and Bonnie spoke the same language.

Comments like, “Mom, she has chocolate mint AND chives” and “I was thinking you could pick some of the blood oranges and try the blood orange olive oil cake recipe” abounded.

I am thankful for summer days filled with picking citrus and berries, tasting chocolate mint, smelling fragrant chives, and swapping recipes.

I am also thankful for people like Bonnie who relate with and spend time enriching my kids’ lives.

Sunday, October 8, 2006 was a defining moment in the life of our family. In the ER of a hospital in Arlington, VA, while visiting our youngest daughter and her husband, I was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. We were sad.  We were shocked. We were numb. Jim and Jana were by my side, and holding onto each other, we wept our hearts out. We contacted Jill in CA and our son, Jon, in China. We all wept. Jim and I returned to Orlando the next day and I didn’t know if I had days or weeks to live.

In the days, weeks, months, and years that followed I would undergo three surgeries, and numerous rounds of aggressive chemo treatments. There were days when I was so weak Jim didn’t know how he could get me in the car to take me to the hospital. There was the day I lost hope and told him, “I can’t do this; it’s just too hard.” There were the days that I learned the cancer had returned and I would need further treatment. More recently there were teary days when I was growing weary of the journey.

And while I would NEVER, EVER have “signed up” for cancer, God has shown me in the midst of the dark, scary, hard, wearisome days, I have SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE!

• EVERY DAY OF LIFE…5 years, 9 months, and 21 days!
• God has been with us through each step of the journey…He’s never once left us by ourselves to walk this path alone! That’s HUGE!
• Our family has been incredibly supportive…coming from CA, TX, and China to help…phoning, skyping, and sending e-mails!
• I’ve always loved being a Gramma; but the day I was diagnosed I didn’t think I’d ever get to hold Jon and Amy’s baby due 5 months later, or be a Gramma to any babies God might give Jana and Josh. Maddie (Jon and Amy’s) is now 5; Abby (Jana and Josh’s) is 4 ½, and Baby Strecker is due any day! What abundant grace!
• When I’ve had a break from chemo we’ve traveled to visit all three families, celebrating birthdays and Christmas together!
• A huge group of family and friends pray regularly for me, sending notes of encouragement, hope, and love, including Scriptures and songs that have touched us deeply.
• Dr. Bigsby, my oncologist, has not only cared for my medical needs, but he’s become a dear friend of ours! He also prays for us daily!
• One day in the elevator at the Cancer Institute a cleaning lady with her cleaning cart in tow saw that I was not feeling well. As she got off the elevator she said, “God loves you very much, and He’s going to take care of you.”
• Chemo nurses, techs, and medical staff could not have been more loving, caring, encouraging, and supportive! ALWAYS CHEERING ME ON…ALWAYS!
• We’ve had a lot of opportunities to encourage other patients in the chemo suite.
• Writing daily in my “Thankful Journal.” There’s no better way to turn a dark day into one overflowing with thankfulness than to focus my heart and mind on God’s blessings and start writing!
• While our medical bills have been enormous, God has abundantly provided!
• Jim has lovingly cared for me 24/7 throughout this entire journey!
• And SO MUCH MORE!

Truly, there is much our family is CELEBRATING in the midst of a scary diagnosis that none of us would have chosen!

Jan and Jim Holsclaw (Jill’s parents) live in Orlando, Florida.